gorlt:

gorlt:

i’m horny but i don’t wanna masturbate because i’m tryna get right with god

you ever cum so hard ya legs start shaking n ya face get all sweaty and you hallucinate and see Jesus shakin his head no

(via nyooms)

omg nsfw

mothwizard:

me: i want something very short and small and cutesy but most importantly body safe and discreet

sex toy companies: try the DEVASTATOR SEVENTY THREE INCHES OF PURE JELLY RUBBER HYPER REALISTIC VEINS WE SHOWED IT TO A NUN ONCE AND SHE BURST INTO FLAMES THERE’S ONLY ONE SETTING: DEVASTATION THE VIBRATIONS CAUSED AN EARTHQUAKE MILLIONS ARE DEAD

(via staticpoison)